By Makayla Gomez
I am ashamed to say that in the beginning I never cared much for school. I found it completely pointless, to be frank. Living paycheck to paycheck was the reality where I am from, and it was bound to one day be mine. This was, until one night my mother came home from a night's work, and I woke in the bed we shared to the sound of her crying. That night, her feet had bled from her work shoes that were falling apart at the seams.
Makayla Gomez, a second year student at UCSB, who experiences financial insecurity and is now raising awareness about the resources available on campus.
Seeing my mother bleeding and slumped over from exhaustion I knew I did not want this for my future. I did not want to work until my body bled and my body broke down and I didn't want my mother to work another day in her life. That very night I bought into the American dream that you could live a nice comfortable life if you worked hard enough, if you studied enough, and if you wanted it enough.
Now I am here at UC Santa Barbara, continually buying into this dream, bleeding my heart, blood, and soul into my education, praying for a better future for my mother, my community, and myself. But I fear that one day my hard work will be in vain due to forces beyond my control because I am one of the many UCSB students who are facing crippling financial burdens.
This academic year was my first time away from home and living on my own. Given my background with a single mother, I am very familiar with having to live on a budget, but nothing could have prepared me for how unfeasible it is to support myself through college, alone, in a very expensive area that is drastically different from my roots in the Central Valley. I struggled deeply. I couldn’t afford to buy enough groceries or necessities to keep myself healthy. My grades started to decline, and I was yet again riddled with anxiety that the American dream of a better life was slipping right through my fingers due to reasons out of my control.
The Associated Students Food Bank, which provides free produce, grocery items, and toiletries for students. Image courtesy of @ucsbasfoodbank on Instagram.
I was at the cusp of hitting rock bottom when a new friend of mine, who also had severe financial burdens, told me about all the resources UC Santa Barbara offered.
I had to make a choice.
Never in my life had I made an excuse for myself or let my circumstances grow so great that they impacted my academic performance, and thus my future. It was very hard for me to even consider getting help because doing so would mean I would have to come to terms with how much of a disadvantage I have compared to most others here.
I had previously thought I was alone with this struggle, having to cut meals, having to take special care of my clothes and shoes because I can’t afford to replace them, having to say no to going out with friends, and having to consider getting a second job because one doesn’t seem to be enough. Once I knew help was right at my fingertips, I was just too proud to ask for it. I didn’t want anyone's pity and, most importantly, didn’t want to be seen as a charity case.
I felt that I must learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. But what kind of life is that?
Produce available at the UCSB Miramar Food Pantry, another resource for students. Photo courtesy of @ucsbmiramarfoodpantry on Instagram.
Then, I came to a realization that this life is hard enough. Going through it alone only makes it harder, so I got the help I needed. I applied for CalFresh, I visited food pantries and I gave myself a chance at a better life. CalFresh (EBT) was the biggest help; though the process can be lengthy, it is easy to sign up. I also used both the Associated Students Food Bank and the Miramar Food Pantry. The A.S. Food Bank is convenient if you live on or frequent campus. It is student-run and the staff is always very welcoming. The Miramar Food Pantry is farther from campus but a good location if you are looking for produce — and anonymity. Though both pantries protect your identity, the A.S Food Pantry is more public.
It is here that I wish to emphasize that I have shared my experience not for pity, but to let the many other financially strapped students understand something that took me so painfully long to realize:
You are not alone.
I’ll say it again:
You are not alone.
According to UCSB’s Basic Needs website, 48% of undergraduates and 31% of graduate students face food insecurity at UCSB.
Whether you have not faced burdens similar to mine, or you have faced many more, it matters not. All lives are not lived the same. My life could be widely different from the life you have lived, perhaps with some things in common, but never the same.
I got help. So can you.
The resources are here for you. Do not see it as a handout or feel weak for accepting help. On the contrary, there is strength in realizing that you do not need to face these burdens alone. There is strength in accepting help when need be.
You did the hard work to get here and there is still hard work to be done. Do not make it harder for yourself. Do not accept being comfortable with your discomfort.
Resources Available at UCSB:
FOOD RESOURCES:
Both UCSB and Santa Barbara County offer resources such as food benefits and pantries. More information can be found at: https://food.ucsb.edu/resources/food-resources.
CalFresh:
CalFresh benefits are solely used for buying food and are accepted at many places. I have used the benefits at grocery stores like Albertsons and other stores like Target. The benefits also renew every month and rollover.
FOOD PANTRIES:
UCSB and Santa Barbara County have many pantries available where you can go and get food at no cost. The Associated Students Food Bank and the Miramar Food Pantry are the most popular at UCSB.
The Associated Students Food Bank: Located on campus in the UCen by Subway. This specific pantry provides free produce, grocery items, and toiletries. The hours are Monday- Friday (9:30 - 6:00 p.m.) and Friday (9:30 – 4 p.m.)
The Miramar Food Pantry: Located at the center of the Sierra Madre UCSB apartments. Though smaller than the A.S. Food Pantry, it provides more produce and generally has fewer people. The hours are Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday (4 -7 p.m.)
Recommended Sites to get more Information on Food Pantries:
A.S. Food Pantry:
Instagram: ucsbasfoodbank
Website: https://foodbank.as.ucsb.edu/
The Miramar Food Pantry:
Instagram: ucsbmiramarfoodpantry
Website: https://www.dining.ucsb.edu/miramar-food-pantry
FINANCIAL RESOURCES:
The information on Financial Resources at UCSB and also Santa Barbara County can be found at https://food.ucsb.edu/resources/financial. If you are facing urgent financial needs you can contact the Financial Crisis Response Team via email at FinancialCrisis@sa.ucsb.edu. They should get back to you within 1-2 days to help you with the best course of action.
OTHER RESOURCES:
The Student Needs Advising Center (SNAC) located in the UCen next to Jamba Juice across from the Student Store. They accept walk-ins or appointments. You can schedule an appointment at: https://food.ucsb.edu/resources/basic-needs-advocates
Makayla Gomez is a second year Communication and Political Science major. She wrote this personal essay for her Writing Program course Digital Journalism.