This spring, UCSB’s Humanities and Fine Arts Division hosted a creativity contest to highlight the work of creative students across the UCSB campus. The following one-act play tied for second place in the prose category.
Love, Lust & Discord
BY Grace Kimball
Characters:
LOVE: she/her pronouns, average clothes, drinking from a mug
LUST: any pronouns, average clothes, drinking from a mug
LOVE and LUST are sitting opposite each other at a kitchen table. Occasionally they will sip their coffee throughout the scene, at their own discretion.
LOVE:
And how was your day?
LUST:
Quick.
LOVE:
Mine was rather long.
LUST:
You always think that, but it’s the same as last time.
LOVE:
I wonder when Discord will get here.
LOVE and LUST get up and switch seats, rotating but never touching.
LOVE:
And how was your day?
LUST:
Quick.
LOVE:
Mine was surprisingly short too.
LUST:
What a shock. We agree for once.
LOVE:
I wish you wouldn’t make fun of me.
LUST:
I’m not. We’re just different.
[pause, listening]
I thought I heard Discord, but they’re running late, I guess.
LOVE:
You always do that.
LUST:
What?
LOVE:
You always try to avoid it.
LOVE and LUST switch seats again, the same way as last time, only this time LUST and LOVE turn their chairs so they are facing the audience. They can look at each other but should make no eye contact. This is quicker than before.
LOVE:
And how was your day?
LUST:
Quick.
LOVE:
Mine was surprisingly short too.
LUST:
What a shock. We agree for once.
LOVE:
I wish you wouldn’t make fun of me.
LUST:
I’m not. We’re just different.
LOVE:
I wonder when Discord will get here.
LUST:
I hate it when you do that.
LOVE:
What?
LUST:
When you bring up other people.
LOVE:
Can’t I?
LUST:
I wish you’d just enjoy your time with me.
LOVE:
But we have forever.
LUST:
We don’t know how long this will last.
LOVE:
As long as we want.
LOVE and LUST get up and move the table to the back of the stage. They then place the chairs so LUST’s back is to LOVE and LOVE is facing LUST’s back. This round is said more slowly.
LOVE:
And how was your day?
LUST:
Quick.
LOVE:
Mine was surprisingly short too.
LUST:
What a shock. We agree for once.
LOVE:
I wish you wouldn’t make fun of me.
LUST:
I’m not. We’re just different.
LOVE:
I wonder when Discord will get here… Maybe they’ll join us tomorrow.
LUST:
I hate it when you do that.
LOVE:
What?
LUST:
Pretend like this is going somewhere.
LOVE:
Going somewhere?
LUST:
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.
LOVE:
Idea?
LUST:
I just stayed because I was comfortable.
LOVE:
Comfortable?
LUST:
I’m just here for the coffee. And I don’t want to go home.
LOVE:
Home?
LUST:
Remember, this is casual.
LOVE:
Casual?
LUST:
I’m just here for a little while.
LOVE and LUST stop and now face each other very closely, barely apart if they lean in. This is normally paced.
LOVE:
And how was your day?
LUST:
Quick.
LOVE:
Mine was surprisingly short too.
LUST:
What a shock. We agree for once.
LOVE:
I wish you wouldn’t make fun of me.
LUST:
I’m not. We’re just different.
LOVE:
I wonder when Discord will get here.
LUST:
I hate it when you do that.
LOVE:
What?
LUST:
Pretend like this is going somewhere.
LOVE:
Going somewhere?
LUST:
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.
LOVE:
Idea?
LUST:
But we should enjoy each other’s company. While this lasts.
LOVE:
[pause]
I want you to try and love me back.
LUST:
It won’t happen.
LOVE:
I’m pretty persuasive.
[pause, glancing offstage like she heard someone]
I wonder when Discord came back.
LUST:
I think around the beginning.
LOVE:
I hope they leave soon.
LUST:
Probably not. They always overstay their welcome.
END SCENE
Grace Kimball is a Ph.D. Candidate in Theater, Dance, and Performance Studies at UCSB.